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Akel Hawa Golden Awards Spring 2009

Akel Hawa Golden Awards Spring 2009

Due to popular demand we bring you the 2nd Akel Hawa D’Or Award
Fasten your seatbelts here it comes...


1- The “Let us make a cheesy movie and make a quick buck out of it award” dubbed this year as “Sex, Drugs and Dabkeh” went to director/producers of Help or shall we say HELLp for their compelling representation of a Post-apocalyptic inferno. The Lebanese movie HELP was written and directed by Mark Abi Rached. Help Movie was produced by Khaled Al Meer and (Frame and Frame) Production Company. The movie was supervised by production manager Bakhos Alwan. The Ministry of Tourism is surely dying of envy and shrugging in shame for not thinking of that first!


2-The “Baris Hilton Award” goes to Nana, for her great performance in the masterpiece “Say My Name, Say My Name”, more popular amongst fans as “Nana Takes it up the Nono”.


3-The “Betty Becomes a Shrink Award” goes to Dr. Nabil Khoury and his TV show Reflex which runs on Orange Television - OTV. Watch out Dr. Phill min hon, you have a tough competitor with a strong sense of style! You go girl...


4-The “I am naturally irritating, put me on TV award” this year went to Malek Maktabi, presenter of Ahmar Bil Khatt Al Aarid. Everyone wants to draw red lines for some reason nowadays. The red ink stocks in Lebanon are completely dry! The show is also expected to go down in the Guinness Book of World Records for regrouping the highest number of freaks in one place, and an equal amount in front of their TVs :)


5-In fifth position we have One Sanita Family Size Toilet Tissue Rolls. Oups sorry, reading off the wrong list...
The “Hollywood Smile Award” goes to Samantha Sayegh, winner of Ghani ma3 Ghassan Season 1 (Ghassan Rahbani). Say AAAAAA and open wide so the cameraman can better zoom into all that goodness. Her voice however, sincerely deserves a Nobel Prize! Great performance by a flawless vocalist...We wish you all the best.


6-The “Draculette Award” goes to Samar al Hajj for her excessive vampire collars. In case you missed the one on her neck, she always has two spare ones in handy on the sleeves.


7-After Riyad Salameh was crowned World’s Best Central Bank Governor, the whole world turned to us to see how we were going to manage the World Economic Crisis. Well, wait no more! The “3am bit shatty massari award” goes to our beloved politicians for coming up with the most pioneering solution for this rigid crisis: Elections! Please remain in the queue; there is enough money for everyone!


8- “Best New Artist Award” goes to my sister. Well you should hear her sing in the shower!


9- The “I can sell you anything award” went to Amana Care who have started selling seeds of a rare tree that actually grows green 100 dollar bills for leaves! We have planted ours a few weeks ago and are still waiting for it to spurt! We might need to hurry up and buy their special bottled rain water to enhance its growth.


10-Last but not least, the award for “We are funny, whether you like it or not” goes to Njoum El Dohor. Let’s pretend no one knows us, and then maybe people will play dumb and fall for it? If that doesn’t work, then we will pay them to pretend with us.

PS: Sorry, still no ceremony. If you have lots of $$$$ and don’t know what to do with it, have a good sense of humour and would like to sponsor such an event, please let us know!



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